What Is Your Life Script?

Have you ever felt rejected by others or felt like you didn’t belong somewhere? Maybe the problem was not with others but with you. The hidden problem is with your life script. A life script is something that you unconsciously write below the age of seven. It is formed by the messages you receive from your parents and the environment you live in. Dr. Eric Berne invented the concept of Life Script, a key idea in Transactional Analysis. The latter is a psychological theory that looks into the way people interact and behave. It was devised by Berne to know the way we think, feel, and act. This is also the reason behind the repeated patterns that you observe in your life. There are three types of scripts: the winner script, the non-winner script, and the loser script.

If you say, “Oops, I made a mistake, I want to correct it”. You are on the winner script. You are ready to explore and accept challenges. The person with the winner script is confident, learns from their mistakes, and believes “I am OK, others are OK”. They set goals and work towards achieving them.

If you say, “At least, I didn’t make a mistake. You are on the non-winner script. You avoid exploring or facing challenges. The person with a non-winner script does not experience big failures or big successes. They avoid risks and choose comfort over growth. The person believes,  ” Life is ok but not great”.

If you say, “It’s not my fault” “I can’t do it”. You are on the loser script. The person with this script always fails at doing things. They give up quickly and do not accept any challenges. They believe “I am not OK”.

Once you identify your life script, you can change it in the way you want. This life script also influences your career.

If you are on the winner script, you will achieve your promotion and fulfilment in your life. If you are on the non-winner script, you will work hard but not get much recognition. It is because you prefer to play it safe. If you are on the loser script, you might miss your meeting or be late in submitting your work. It is because you believe you don’t deserve success.

Based on your choices in life partner, the person with the winner script chooses someone who is OK with themselves, emotionally available, trustworthy, and confident. The relationship will be based on pure intimacy, with no games. The person with the non- winner script might choose a partner based on societal norms or someone their parents like. They don’t want to be alone, so they find a partner. Their marriage might not be passionate, but ok. The person with the loser script feels unlovable. They attract people with abusive traits and addictions. They finally end up getting divorced. Once you identify your life script, you can change it in the way you want.